On Forgiveness
Forgiving Self
Forgiving Others
Nothing to Forgive
Spiritual Principle

On Love
Acceptance
Healing Love
What is Love?

On Fear
What is Fear?
Fear & Ego
Overcoming Fear
Is it Real?
Fear what?

Letter to Christians
Unlocking Keys
Freedom
Select Topics

In General
Feminization
The Pope Apologized
Victim or Victor?

Acceptance

I get joy from the reflections I share with those I call my friends. The relationships we share with others act as mirrors to our souls, reflecting back to us the self we need to see most. Many of us take friendship for granted. We use the label loosely, and by doing so we fail to truly honor those who embody what friendship really means.

Who we choose as our friends and lovers is one thing over which we have total control. To appreciate this fact, reflect for a moment on all the choices over which you do not have total control. Did you choose your family members? Co-workers? The company for which you work? If you catch cold, or sprain your ankle? The fact is, many of us do not make conscious choices, we make conscious reactions.

We do control the choice to decide who our friends are. What I am saying is this: "Who we choose to associate with or call our friends says as much about us as it does about them, since they are a reflection of who we are and how we feel about ourselves."

We draw to us either what we are or people who possess qualities we need to develop. Since there are no accidents in this universe, we don’t have accidental meetings or relationships. Everything that happens, happens for a reason. This can be difficult to accept given some of our past encounters. So, when people are drawn to us or we find ourselves in particular situations, we need to stop, discover and embrace the lessons we are to give or receive.

In order to learn these lessons, we first must recognize that we are spiritual beings in the process of life. This process entails that we must constantly grow and evolve. When we are receptive to this fact, we are more open to receive our lessons from a variety of sources. We can learn from a child, a psycho, or your Ex. The necessity exists in the lesson, not the source. Unlike in school, these lessons will be repeated again and again until we make the connection, alteration or simply get it right.

When we are open and receptive to being spiritual beings in the process, we will realize that we are here to grow. Growth is not easy. We will make mistakes, suffer a few bumps and bruises, and

sometimes fail. That is the nature of the process. We realize that when we make a mistake or fail, we do not become a mistake or a failure. Mistakes and failures are only events, not people.

Our egos tell us otherwise. The ego will criticize, and condemn. It feeds on the mistakes and misfortunes of others. It compares and boosts itself by denigrating others. That is how the ego works.

When we value ourselves and accept ourselves, we are better able to accept others. What I have learned is this: "I could not truly love anyone or anything else until I truly learned to love myself." And I’m not talking about that "You Go Girl" kind of love that is based on accomplishments or possessions. I’m talking about that unconditional love you give yourself in spite of… The kind that says, "I know, but I love you anyhow - outta shape, overweight, broke down, anyhow!" Tell me, how can anyone love someone else unconditionally, when they won’t love themselves the same way? They look outside of themselves for acceptance, approval, validation or love. That comes from within, and you can’t give what you don’t have.

When we are accepting of ourselves unconditionally, we stop comparing ourselves to others. We stop labeling others either positively or negatively when we realize a person’s value is inherent to their being. We are blessed to have people to share our journeys. They are our teachers, our lovers, our friends, and our reflections.

I grew up believing that love of self was vanity. I have come to realize that we are God’s creation, and God does not make mistakes. We were created to be just as we are. Thinking otherwise about others or ourselves is like saying God messed up. When in reality it is our thinking that’s messed up.

God is an equal opportunity lover. It does not matter if you are skinny or fat, single or married have a Ph.D. or a G.E.D., G-O-D loves You! There is nothing you can ever do to change or negate that fact. You don’t have to be a minister, a saint, have a church, or a union rep because you can’t earn any more or less of Gods love, its all equal. God created you to be just the way you are, a spiritual being in process. Now I ask you, if I love you, and God loves you, who are you not to love you?